Friday, October 28, 2011
I have spent years in self loathing. Days on end feeling worthless. More time than I would like to admit wondering how did I end up here... I have never admitted this to anyone and will probably keep it deep down inside for many years to come, hoping that eventually it will just fade away. But it just never seems to. My husband would tell you I have low self esteem. Then he would continue on to make me feel bad about it. Asking me why I do this to myself. Asking me when I'm going to change. Why doesn't he understand that if I could control these emotions I would. I dont like this person I have become. A smaller, sadder version of myself. I'll admit this to myself and my blog that couples as my 'diary' that no one reads, but that's as far as I can go. Too bad I can't even bring myself to type the words I really feel.