Sunday, April 15, 2012

And then my soul saw you

So I was searching on Pinterest today and I came across this quote,
"And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, 'Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you.'"

My husband and I have certainly had our share of problems and yes we continue to. We are these two people who under entirely different circumstances could have truly been completely incompatible. I mean truly how did we end up together, out of all of the people in the world how did we end up here. I really don't know. We have a long and complicated history that doesn't make any sense. There has been turmoil since day one and I would never have thought in a million years that we would be here if you would have asked me 8 years ago.

But we are here and I love my husband with all of my heart, more than I could ever imagine loving anyone in this whole world. So I guess my point is that even though our history and our current state isn't exactly perfection, it doesn't stop my love from being stronger than I ever imagined it could be.

This quote made me think of him. It made me think about how when I look at him, I see home. When I look at him I feel warm inside. I feel butterflies and mushy. I don't know how describe the way that I feel, it is truly indescribable. All I know is that it is amazing and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Perhaps it's time to start that love dare again and see how far I can make it this time, because old problems are new problems and I don't want this to end us for real this time!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

One Year Later

I think we can say that we have officially made it to the one year mark. One year ago my marriage started to completely fall apart. Are we any better than we were a year ago? I guess so? I mean I honestly don't know how great our marriage really is, but I can tell you that I love that man with all of my heart. That I can't stand to spend a minute away from him. That I would do anything to take away all of his pain and his hurt. That I wish that we could just be at peace with each other. Things may not be perfect but I feel like they are still moving in the right direction. He lectures me occasionally on my 'attitude' still but I am working on it. I'm never going to be the wife that he wants me to be and he is never going to accept my faults for what they are, but maybe just maybe we can work through them. Fingers crossed and my heart on my sleeve, praying that this next year can be the beginning of a beautiful marriage. With all hurt feelings for each other let go, please let this year be a miracle and let it bring my marriage peace.

We are supposed to renew our vows this month sometime. So let's see how that goes. I will judge our marital success on that.